Karavan Press title: So, by Beatrice Willoughby

The cool side of a pillow on a midsummer’s night.
A dog’s tail when you open the door.
Your mother’s face.
That first sip, of what is up to you.
His hand on your waist.
An owl’s hoot.
A child calling for you.

Daughter of poet, author, and creative writing teacher, Finuala Dowling, and satirist, performer, and playwright, Guy Willoughby, Beatrice Willoughby grew up immersed in Jane Austen, Oscar Wilde and Billy Collins. Her school holidays were spent learning classic poems off by heart and performing comic sketches and take-offs for her uncles, aunts and cousins. Following in her maternal grandfather’s footsteps, she pursued copywriting, for which she has won several awards. She lives in Cape Town. So, is her debut collection of poetry.

Publication date: November 2023

ISBN: 978-1-7764581-5-8

‘YOU’RE OKAY, HEY?’

Years pass.
Life goes on,
until it doesn’t.
Death is eternal.
Once they’re gone,
they’re gone.

Years pass.
Condolences diminish,
you’ve forgotten his voice,
as if you were dropped 
onto your mother’s lap by a stork.

Years pass.
You graduate,
you get a desk,
you submit tax returns,
you buy a car with a red bow.

Years pass,
‘You’re okay now, hey?’
‘It was a long time ago.’
‘He was so sick.’

Yes, I’m okay.
Don’t worry about me.
I will play down my father’s death,
to make you feel more comfortable.

I won’t tell you he was gay,
I won’t tell you that he died of AIDS,
I won’t tell you that I never called him dad,
or that I saved the emails he sent,
the ones I didn’t respond to.

I won’t.
I will smile with his face,
and his eyes.
And then one day,
when you’re sixteen, 
and you’re authorising your father’s death,
call me, and I’ll say,
‘You’re okay, hey?’