Karina Author, Book

EXTRACT | ‘Tears Before Bedtime’ by Diane Awerbuck

This book is a chronological collection of real conversations I’ve had with my offspring, or that they’ve had with me — mostly against my will. Sometimes another adult will appear briefly, but we should always remember who the main characters/problems here are — the youth.

They’re old enough now to give their meaningful consent for publication. The ages in the text are the ages they really were at the time. There are two of them — not unlike Thing One and Thing Two in The Cat in the Hat — and they are fewer than two years apart. Sometimes the fluffy one seems to catch up in age to the squeaky one, but that’s just because of when their birthdays fall.

As to why this is being published at all, the answer is that it’s a joke book * : Van der Merwe meets yo’ mama. Telling jokes is one of the ways humans connect with their communities. Humour is illuminating when it comes to social and sexual anxieties, and it helps us find meaning and healing and support in our shared experiences. And for fun, goddammit, because what are you going to do? Cry about it? As my first stepfather used to say: “I’ll give you something to cry about!” …

Continue reading: Times Live

Karina Author, Book

Karavan Press title: TEARS BEFORE BEDTIME by Diane Awerbuck

This is a little book of happiness. You’ll need someone in the room to read the really funny ones to. – PAIGE NICK

This is a joke book – a collection of real conversations I’ve had with my offspring, or that they’ve had with me, mostly against my will. I started keeping records for my own entertainment when they began to talk properly:

Two-year-old: What’s that?
Me: My nipple.
Two-year-old: Is it dead?

I regretted teaching them to speak once pre-adolescence and Covid lockdowns arrived – life phases with equivalent survival strategies and effects:

Nine-year-old: Good news! While you were in your meeting, I finished your puzzle!
Me: …
Nine-year-old: I could see it was too hard for you.

It’s still noisy here.

Thirteen-year-old: I don’t like boys.
Me: Okay.
Thirteen-year-old: I like cats.
Me: Okay!
Thirteen-year-old: So … not your daughter, then.

I hope it never ends. Life is a set-up, and parenting is the punchline. As my mother once said, ‘I hope one day you have children. And then we’ll see who’s laughing.’

Publication date: April 2025

ISBN: 978-0-6398626-0-6

DIANE AWERBUCK is a prizewinning writer, reviewer, editor and teacher. She writes femme/goth thrillers (Home Remedies); memoirs (Gardening at Night); pandemic cowboy thrillers (South, as Frank Owen; North, as Frank Owen); doctorates on trauma (The Spirit and the Letter); holy-wholly poetry (As above, so below); and short story collections (Cabin Fever; Inside your body there are flowers). Tears Before Bedtime is her latest offering. She hopes you are sitting comfortably.